PAUSE

In 2007 I attended a photography workshop. I fell in love with capturing the everyday beauty I saw and documenting my children. People started to hire me. I was busy.

From the beginning though, I wrestled with feelings of providing a service vs being an artist. I struggled to feel justified in my pricing. I really struggled to focus. I couldn’t separate work and family. I thought it would get easier as my children got older, but it didn’t. If anything, my thoughts and worries grew, making creating harder. I felt my creativity waning but thought 2020 would give me rest. A space to nurture my creativity back.

I could not have been more wrong. I was more anxious than ever. I wanted to create but there was nothing. I did the bare minimum. There was just no space for photography.

It has taken me almost two years to say no more. I tried cutting out this and then that, I did not want to say stop - to everything. But as I wrap up my final obligations, I take a pause.

For how long, I do not know.